Camp Driftwood
by the electric phantom
Summary: Lisa, Marcus, Jess, and Keith are all of to summer camp! Many insane things will happen as they form friendships and participate in crazy activities. WARNING: this was the work of about 12 girls ranging from 8 to 16. We got very random at points, and lots of things don't make complete sense. If you must have a perfectly coherent plot, this story is not for you.
1. Chapter 1: Settling In

**A.N.: Hi! This story is based off of summer camp, TEC, me, and my friends randomness. I'd like to thank everyone who made that week possible, and a special thanks to everybody who put ideas into this. You know who you are. **

Lisa and Jessica smiled as they entered the cabin.

"This is gonna be totally awesome!" Lisa said/sang. Jessica nodded excitedly. They quickly claimed a bunk bed to themselves

Keith and Marcus jumped onto their beds.

"I LOVE IT HERE!" Marcus squealed. Keith grinned.

"Yeah, it's almost as cool as Camp Half-Blood."

"I just moved in to 14 G, so cozy, calm, and peaceful," Marcus sang. Keith shushed him, pointing to the guy next to him, who was sleeping.

It was dinnertime, and everyone was sitting down.

"So, nice place?" Jessica asked the boys.

"IT WAS AWESOME!" Marcus yelled, "THERE WERE SO MANY BEDS! THIS IS WAY BETTER THAN CAMP PICKLE!"

"What he said," Keith added. Lisa laughed.

"Welcome to Camp Driftwood!" a counselor said.

Their first meal there was chicken sandwiches, french fries, water, fruit punch, a salad bar, and chocolate dirt. It was all perfect.

"Not as good as Dad's cooking," Keith began, "but not bad." Jessica rolled her eyes.

"Nothing is as good as your dad's food, Keith."

"True," he commented. Everyone laughed.

One of the girls' counselors, Doctor (who looks like Abby from NCIS), filled them in on all the rules. Most of them were fairly basic, so they were happy.

"This will be a good week; I can sense it," Riptide (the other counselor) said/

"Yes, yes it will be," said Ananklusmos, who was officially Keith's favorite person at camp.

"Oh, I've got horns to open bottles and I've got horns to hold my keys," sang Marcus and Yodel. Lisa giggled. Jessica hummed along.

That night, the guys were all being manly when Marcus got on a crazy rush.

"JESSICA IS SO HOT! SHE MAKES MEGHAN FOX FEEL INSECURE! I LOVE HER AND I WANT TO MARRY HER AND HAVE MANY MANY KIDS WITH HER! I'M IN LOVE." He lay down on his bed.

"You do realize that she's three years older than you, right?"

"Ah-huh,"

"You do realize that she doesn't like you like that, right?" They waited for a response.

"He's asleep," whispered Jared.

"Dude, we should prank the girls!" said Joe-Shmoe. Keith looked uncertain.

"I don't know…"

"Well, we can at least watch them sleep!" protested Jared. Keith looked at him like he was crazy.

"Dude, it's not that interesting," he said, taking a casual drink of water.

"You mean you've-" began Joe-Shmoe.

"Not like your thinking," Keith said quickly, "Just you're on vacation and you're in the car with your friend. You've been driving all day, and it's really late, so she falls asleep. No biggy."

"Who?" Jared asked.

"Jessica," Keith said, smiling.

"The black-haired chic you're always with?"

"That's the one!"

"She's hot."

"Y-you've got-t t-t-to b-be k-kid-kidding m-m-m-me!" he stammered, blushing.

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Somebody's got a crush on Jessicaaaaaaaaa!"

"Yeah, Marcus does," said Keith, pointing to the passed out twelve-year-old.

'SPOILER ALERT: so do-"

"Hi, guys!" it was Ananklusmos, "Whatcha doin?"

"Oh, just talking, spitting, being manly."

"Okay. Have fun!" he left. Keith stood up.

"The trouble with schools is, they always try to teach the wrong lessons. Believe me, I've been kicked out of enough of them to know," Keith sang. Yodel entered. "They want you to become less callow, less shallow, but I say: why invite stressing? Stop studying strife, and learn to lead the unexamined life. Dancing through life, swaying and sweeping, and always-" he stopped when he noticed Yodel. They stared at each other.

"You have no life."

"You can't talk."

**A.N.: Please review!**


	2. Chapter 2: EW, MARCUS!

"These pancakes are amazing!" cried Jessica with joy.  
"BACON!" Marcus yelled, "Bacon, bacon, bacon, BACON!"

"I can't wait to go canoeing!" Keith said between bites.

"Yeah, all we did yesterday was eat, sleep, and swim," agreed Lisa.

"The one time Hector isn't here," Jessica said, laughing.

"Who?" asked all those non-familiar with the Company.

"Jessica's brother," said Keith and Lisa.

"Is he cute?" a random girl asked.

"Do you like twenty-three-year-olds who refuse to admit it when they're wrong, even about stupid stuff? If so, he's totally your guy!" Jessica said. All the girls (minus Lisa) crinkled their noses.

Dill was in charge of the first activity of the day. No one knew what was going on. All that they had was a giant pickle jar and the mud pit as clues.

"Okay, today, we'll be pickle slathering!" he said. Everyone looked confused. He went up to Marcus.

"First time at a pickle slathering?" he asked.

"Yeah," Marcus said.

"Here's a tip: take a pickle, throw it in the mud, find it, and eat!"

"Gee, thanks, mister!"

For a moment, there was nothing. Then, there was Marcus! He grabbed the pickle jar, dumped all the pickles in the jar, jumped in, and began to eat.

"Ew!" yelled a random girl.

"Marcus, can't you at least wipe some of the mud off?" Keith asked his Padawan.

"No! Zis ish dillishus! I shush do zis at home!"


	3. Chapter 3: The Battle of Epicosity

**A.N.: Okay… After the reviews I've gotten, I feel a need to respond.**

**JAS: Yeah, one of the girls who I was at camp with came up with that idea. It was about eleven at night.**

**No Login Girl: Hi. Don't worry. Any Messica I do is completely one-sided or fails epically like chapter two of "TEC: The Musical."**

**Sterling: Okay, this is why I felt a need to respond. Okay, the reason this story is at a summer camp instead of just a campsite is (I was at a summer camp) so that only characters between a certain ages who would come could. Francine could've come, except that's completely OOC. Danny and Manny, as well as Hector, are too old for this camp. Secondly, I'm not (basically) spoofing **_**Brother Bear.**_** I don't know if that was your intention, but it sounded like it. And I don't like that movie. Thirdly, I might in a different story, but again, it doesn't work into this one. Lastly, no Messica! Messica ruins Jeith, so no Messica!**

**Please enjoy this chapter, everybody! I'd like some reviews!**

Boys VS Girls Water Balloon Fight was a disaster. It had started at seven in the morning, just after breakfast. The girls snuck into the woods. Their plan was simple.

Act like boys would expect them to.

Have some sneak into their fortress to steal their balloons.

Attack them violently while they're defenseless.

Laugh at them.

Get the celebration Jell-O.

**BoY's PlAn**

**1 FiNd PuMp**

**2 PuMp WaTeR iNtO bAlLoOnS**

**3 tHe KnOt**

**4 FiNd GiRlS**

**5 pElT tHeM**

**6 lAuGh**

**7 EaT jElLo**

So, after half an hour of hiding in the woods, Jessica Rebecca, and Tic-Tac snuck into the pool house, where the boys were hiding. Halfway in, they noticed (or rather, were noticed by) two guards.

"Well, look what we have here," the first one said.

"Girls!" the other said.

"We're boys in disguise!" said Tic-Tac, desperately trying not to get captured. Rebecca nodded, not saying a word.

"Prove it," Ugly Number 1 said. Jessica used her power behind her back to create Hector's voice saying, "Come here." Ugly Number 1 did so, earning him a kick in the balls. While he was down, Jessica punched Ugly Number 2 in the face and twisted his arm.

"We're not here, okay?" she asked menacingly.

"Deal!" Ugly Number 1 squeaked.

"Come on, let's go!" she said to her friends, skipping off. The other two stared at her in awe for a moment before following.

After ten minutes of nothing (It was a very big pool house.), they were starting to lose interest. There weren't even any people! Then, Keith walked by.

"Hey, Keith!" Jessica said casually, "Do you know where the water balloons are?"

"Oh, yeah, Jess. They're in the toilets. Good luck!" He continued walking as if nothing had happened. Once again, Rebecca and Tic-Tac stared in awe.

"How did you do that?" Rebecca asked.

"What? Oh that? Force of habit, I guess. We're always on the same team." They turned left and were faced with the next big decision.

"Which bathroom do you think they put them in?" Tic-Tac asked.

"Boys," the campers said in sync.

"They'd never go into a girl's bathroom," Jessica said.

"Unless it was like what happened with Moaning Myrtle's bathroom," Rebecca reasoned. Tic-Tac nodded and opened the door. Everything was quiet.

Too quiet.

"What kind of trap is this?" Jessica muttered, more to herself than the other two.

"Ask your boyfriend," Tic-Tac said.

"KEITH IS NOT MY BOYFRIEND!"

"Come on, let's focus on the main problem," Rebecca said, putting the other two back on track.

First stall: empty. Second stall: empty. Third stall: MARCUS!

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" he screamed.

"We're not here," Tic-Tac said soothingly, trying not to ruin this, "This is all a dream!"

"Oh, okay!" He fell asleep.

"Whew! That was a close one," Rebecca whispered.

Fourth stall: nothing. Then, it was the fifth and final stall.

"Let' see if Keith was right," Rebecca whispered. They opened the stall to find all of the boys' water balloons! They dumped them all in the garbage bag Tic-Tac had been carrying and ran back into the woods.

There, they were having a mini celebration.

"I'm so happy!" someone yelled. Riptide hugged them.

"We're totally going to win!" someone else said.

"Well, we should probably attack them now," Doctor reasoned. Everyone nodded.

"But they don't leave their fort," Riptide said. All of this logic was bringing everyone down.

"Well, we could attack them there," Rebecca said, shrugging. Doctor nodded.

"Well then, let's make a plan!"

_Girl's Plan of Attack_

_Get the guards' attention._

_Flirt with them._

_Use this to get them all outside._

_Pummel!_

The three prettiest girls were selected to distract the guards. So, they went.

"Why do we have to wear bikinis? I feel like Princess Leia!" Maggie complained.

"Yeah, this is so sexist," Jordan agreed.

"I like it!" Clarissa said, having a she-should-be-blonde moment. They noticed a guard.

"Hey, there," said Jordan flirtatiously.

His eyes immediately popped out of his head. He began to drool.

"HELLO NURSE!" he began to chase them. A flock of guys came from the sky via hang gliders. They tumbled down to the ground, not knowing how to land. The rest of the girls came and pelted them with water balloons.

Jessica's POV

I ran towards the pool, where we heard that the officers were said to be. I was with Harmony, Lisa, and Doctor. We got in easily; they'd heard not to mess with me, I guess. We walked in silence until we reached the pool.

The officers were sitting around a picnic table plotting. I paled. Keith was there. After all of this, I forgot that one of us had to beat the other. We've been best friends forever, so he's like a twin to me. And… I like him. Like, like-like him. He looks up and sees me. Frowning, he gets up.

"Remember when we were little, how we'd play fight?" he whispered, an inch away from my face. I nodded. He winked and turned back.

"Looks like we have company, boys," he snarled. I smirked.

"Glad you figured something out. By the way, I'm not quote 'a dull crayon in a sparkly outfit faking sharpness,' end quote," I said, figuring that it excused the whisper. He nodded. I held a balloon up. He responded with a noodle. Lisa threw me one. We began to quarterstaff.

This was easy for us to fake. We were Robin Hood and Little John in a school play during seventh grade. We used the same moves, so I was able to pretend that we were rehearsing.

"You're using Bonetti's defense against me, eh?" I asked randomly. No one caught the quote.

"Your point, you pig-headed buffoon?"

"Nothing, you smart-alecky monkey!" This is almost fun.

"Oh yeah? Well, you're dumber than a doggy bag!"

"That doesn't even make sense!"

"It doesn't have to!"

"Yes, it does, you air-headed bowl of monkey poo!"

"What the-" in the moment of confusion, I whacked him down, but not hard. He faked a bit of pain.

"UNCLE! UNCLE!" he screamed. I smirked and helped him up. The guys stared at him.

"You surrendered," one said.

"NEVER GIVE UP; NEVER SURRENDER!" another yelled. They began pelting us (including Keith) with water balloons. We began chucking our secret weapons: balloons filled with whipped cream. They hadn't seen that coming. Marcus began running around screaming about Starkid (Funny, but not good.) They all got into a whipped cream huddle. After a minute or two of whispered arguments, they turned back to us.

"We… surrender!"


End file.
